R2T:157 Better Boundaries For A Better Relationship

Posted on Posted in Emotions & Insights, Podcast, Relationships & Love

Boundaries in yourself and in your relationship are often misunderstood. They are not meant to keep people away or out of your life. Boundaries are really meant as a way to keep you connected while at the same time protecting your sense of self. They are essential to all healthy relationships.

How do you set effective boundaries for yourself? Well, it begins with self-awareness and the ability to recognize your own feelings and getting clear on what you want. This also means asserting your will and right to say “no” if it is something that you DON’T want as well as being able to say “yes” and ask for more of what you DO want. These are the keys to helping you and your partner create closeness and vulnerability within your relationship.

What do you do when a boundary has been crossed? Do you shut down? Wall off? Or do you “blow up” or act out? These are not winning strategies to gain closeness in a relationship. Speaking your truth assertively and not in reaction is the healthy way to connect with your partner. The key here is to state what is not working for you as a request and not as a complaint. Complaining to your partner will NEVER work as a way to create change. It will only create resentment and hurt.

It works the same way when you want more of something in your relationship. Tell your partner in an assertive and loving way what you need him or her to do. Healthy and functioning boundaries in relationships are the way to take care of you as well as your partner. They are essential to you growing and deepening your relationship. Boundaries are the way for both of you to win!

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